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Talk Therapy geared toward Couples and LGBTQ Couples wondering if they should stay together or uncouple.

Benefits of Discernment Therapy

  • Discernment counseling is a short-term therapy for couples who are considering divorce. It can also be used when one partner wants to end the relationship while the other wants to stay together.

  • During discernment counseling, counselors act as mediators to help couples reach a decision. The counseling process involves one-to-one conversations with each partner separately. The goal is to help each partner understand their own feelings and contributions to the problems in the relationship.

  • Address unresolved resentments in a way that leads to greater connection and understanding regardless of outcome.

  • Discernment counseling can help couples gain clarity and confidence in their decision-making. Possible outcomes include:  Making no changes to the marriage, Divorcing/Uncoupling, Or Trying reconciliation through couples therapy.

Common Presenting Concerns

  • One partner wants to leave while the other wants to stay - this is the most common reason couples seek discernment counseling. 

  • Feeling like you have fallen out of love - discernment counseling can help couples try to restore their love or decide if consciously uncoupling is what is best.

  • Wanting to stay for the kids - staying in a marriage can be psychologically disadvantageous to children, which means it is crucial to commit to working on the relationship or transitioning into friendship to co-parent.

  • Feeling at a breaking point with a compulsive behavior - if you are wondering if your partner can change in regards to compulsive substance use, hypersexuality or dishonesty, discernment counseling can help bring clarity on if it makes more sense to stay or go.

What to Expect with Discernment Counseling...

The first session is typically the longest, lasting two hours, with subsequent sessions clocking in at about 90 minutes. The first part of the session consists of a comprehensive intake. We will start with a session all together with a subsequent breakout of a series of 1-1 sessions with you both.


The intakes consist of me getting to know you and your partner as well as your unique situation. You will provide the relevant details of your relationship and share pertinent information about your physical health, mental health, career, housing, and support systems. During this time, we will work with informed consent and answer any questions your have about how this counseling works. During this time I will also be examining your role in the relationship, goals for moving forward, and the accountability you hold towards past mistakes.


Ultimately, the goal is clarity so you can both move forward with an understanding of where your lives are headed be it together or apart. Neither partner should be forced into the process, If that’s the case, the counseling will not work effectively.

Psychobiological Attachment Approach to Couples Therapy 

A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT), developed by Dr. Stan Tatkin, is a fusion of attachment theory, developmental neuroscience, and arousal regulation. PACT has a reputation for effectively treating the most challenging couples.

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