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Cotton Flowers

ETHICAL 
NON- MONOGAMY

Talk Therapy geared toward helping you open your relationship and create strong bonds with you partners. 

TREATMENT

Ethical non-monogamy [ENM] is an umbrella term. That means that an assortment of different individual relationship models fall under the broad definition of it. What they all have in common is that the relationship is not fully monogamous and that everyone involved is consenting to this vision/structure. 

 

Research shows that about 1 in 5 Americans have been in an open relationship at some point in their lives. I can work with you at every phase of opening your relationship with intentionality and guidance. 

 

ENM requires communication and lots of it. For example, a sex therapist suggests having a "what if" conversation before anyone takes anything into action. In therapy, we can help you have the necessary conversations to have a positive experience that helps you build security as a couple and make sure you are growing closer as a result.

Reasons you might consider an open relationship: You and your partner both have a lot of love to give and believe you can love more than one person at once. You want to explore your sexuality or sexual relationships with someone of a different gender. You and your partner have a case of mismatched libidos. You would like to deconstruct normativity.

ETHICAL NON-MONOGAMY THERAPY MIGHT INCLUDE:
  • Working with your attachment style

  • Improving your communication

  • Relating to Jealousy

  • Building compersion

  • Working with time management

  • Expanding your network of interests

  • Enjoying more connection

  • Growing closer to your partner

  • Work with one partner wanting monogamy

  • Creating a life that custom fits your realtionship 

The Relationship Bill of Rights

You have the right, without shame, blame or guilt in all relationships,

  • To be free from coercion, violence & intimidation

  • To choose the level of involvement and intimacy you want

  • To have clear commitments

  • To revoke consent to any form of intimacy at any time

  • To be told the truth

  • To say no to requests

  • To hold and express differing points of view

  • To feel all your emotions

  • To grow and change

  • To make mistakes

  • To end a relationship

  • To feel and communicate your emotions and needs

  • To set boundaries concerning your privacy needs

  • To know your partner will work with you to resolve problems 

  • To choose whether you want a monogamous or open relationship

  • To seek balance between what you give & what is given back to you

by Eve Rickert & Franklin Veaux

MY APPROACH
 

I integrate different approaches to in working with my couples around open relationships. My modalities of focus include:

  • Internal Family Systems (IFS) which is a transformative, evidence-based model of therapy. IFS®  is a transformative tool that conceives every human being as a system of protective and wounded inner parts led by a core Self. This model believes the mind is naturally multiple and that is a good thing. Just like members of a family, inner parts are forced from their valuable states and into extreme roles within us at different times. IFS can help people heal by accessing and healing their protective and wounded inner parts creating more cohesion over time. 

  • Narrative Therapy is a non-pathologizing approach that is based on the notion that we make meaning of our lives through the stories we tell. These stories are constructed within the larger narratives that make up our social, political, and interpersonal contexts and they shape our reality. People often come to therapy when they experience themselves as living in stories that are dominating and restricting the possibilities in their own lives. Our work together involves co-authoring and facilitating experiences of new stories that are more empowering, aligned with your values, and create more possibilities for your relationships and life. 

  • Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is based on 50 years of research into human bonding. EFT offers a map to the territory of love and can empower couples by showing them new ways to engage in the dances of connection and conflict to move closer to a secure loving bond. The EFT model prioritizes emotion and emotional regulation as the key organizing agents in individual experience and key relationship interactions.

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